Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Bored so time for an update

In hindsight maybe putting new ads in the paper for my Mistress work a week before Christmas wasn't the best idea I've had as it went in the paper on Friday and it's now late afternoon Tuesday and all I've seen is one client who smelt of BO as he'd just came from work and expected me to strip off fully which I didn't want to do. I never understand why guys come and see me all dressed up looking very fem and sexy and then want me totally naked for the session! Why not just see a guy who looks like a guy in the first place? And people say I'm strange.

While I sit around waiting for clients to phone I've been catching up on tele programs I've missed out on seeing on i-player such as last weeks life's too short and Frozen Planet which sadly on i-player has the man signing for the deaf in the corner and nothing I do seems to be able to get rid of him!

On Saturday I went to visit my friend John who is just out of hospital after heart surgery and  I took him some presents and a card signed by friends the previous week at Romeo's nightclub. Some people didn't know him but signed the card anyway as I told them all he'd appreciate the fact that total strangers were thinking on him as he recovers.

Lord Q gave me some plastic grapes to take over but didn't tell me they were plastic and when I gave them to my friend I said they were real. It's a good job he didn't try and eat them!

After suffering me for about 4 hours John was very tired and returned to bed where he had been for the previous 2 days sleeping after coming out of hospital. He now no longer wants any more visitors until next year and wants to focus on getting better. I'm not sure if this is a result of my visit though but I wouldn't blame him if it was after 4 hours of me going on and saying all the wrong things as normal. Hopefully next time I see him he'll be fit enough to run away when he see's me coming.

That evening I went with my friend Nicki to Exodus for F***ed Up which was pretty well attended but really cold. I didn't get F***ed Up but did get tied up twice while dressed as Miss Santa which was great fun.

Oh I need to thank the trannie who I'd never met before who gave me the finger and was upset with me because I apparently didn't reply to an e-mail he sent!!

I know what you'e thinking bring back hanging right?

Anyway whoever you are I hope you feel better now and look I may not have replied to your e-mail but even better you made my blog. No need to apologise though. Tell you what if you want to send me an e-mail.

Then again I may forget to reply and we'll be back to square one.

I also had someone phone up just to call me a queer b******d but it was nice of him to leave his number which I've now also left all over the net so people can contact him. If you happen to be a queer b******d and want someone to talk to about it I'll be happy to pass it on to you also. Or if you just want someone to talk to about trans or gay issues I'm sure he'll be very understanding.

Anyone reading this who also happens to be medically trained can you tell me if I have cystitis as I need to wee lots at the moment. Women are 10 times more likely to get this than men so I'm probably right I reckon.

Oh before I go pee did I mention I was part of a slave auction? I fetched £7.50 I think highest of the night then my winner swapped me for a packet of sweets

Friday, 9 December 2011

Hanging on the telephone

Yes I know it's a Blondie record but it's what I seems to be doing a lot these days or maybe it's hanging on waiting for the telephone to ring. It's funny as where I do my sessions in the day there's a very poor orange signal so I've had to set up camp in one of the bedrooms while I wait for clients to call. which they don't seem to be doing today when I expected them too as a new ad went in the paper today or at least I hope it did.

Before anyone asks why don't I change to another network it's because I'm stuck in a contract with orange and to get out of it I have to pay it off which amounts to several hundred pounds so until it runs out I'll stick to the bedroom office.

Although trapped in the bedroom I have my netbook, food a tele to watch which is pink so very girlie and a heater to keep me warm as I'm always dressed in skimpy outfits in case someone rings up and wants to come straight over and shag me then I'm ready and waiting. BTW in case you're wondering a lot of guys ring up wanting sex but end up not getting sex of course but most still leave happy. Some even come again, Just not today it seems!! Come on phone hurry up and ring!!

So what's new you ask. Well as you asked I'll tell you I have some new dresses and a fantastic new latex leotard that fits like a glove(no not a boxing glove!) and feels amazing on. Check out the photos and also check out the new pics of me in my miss Christmas outfit which I'll be wearing again tomorrow at Romeo's X-mas event. All pics were taken by Lord Q in case you're wondering.

Last weekend I didn't do much except on the Saturday where I went to a party in a tiny room upstairs in a pub which was pretty poor and the food was terrible leaving me with nothing to eat all night. I wore a new sexy dress I've just bought though and looked better than most of the born females there I reckon. The highlight of this night was two lads chatting me and my transvestite friend up and pretending they didn't know we weren't born women. I might believe it with me but my friend lovely as she is wouldn't fool a blind deaf and dumb man. When they left she said to me "They thought we were both real women until I said you know"
I went along with her as it made her day I'm sure.

Right well the phones not ringing so time for a little sleep I think. BTW I wasn't working Wednesday and missed 11 calls which was annoying. I was instead in Cardiff visiting my friend in hospital doing some Christmas shopping and watching Hugo at the cinema. BTW couldn't find anything to buy anyone for Christmas but did get a a pair of shoes to wear with a new dress I have so it wasn't a complete waste of time going.

Right sleep time.

Right well the phones not ringing so time for a little sleep I think

Saturday, 3 December 2011

On tele again!

So I'm not on a show about the journey I undertake as I go through my transition like the trans people in my trantastic summer or whatever it was that's just come to an end on channel 4 no I've not been on channel 4 but BBC1 this week. Am I a star or what!

Actually I was just an extra in a series called baker boys in a gay bar scene and I'd never heard of it either when they asked me to do it. I also want to know why they cast me in a gay bar as I'm not gay. I didn't watch it but found it here on I-player and I'm in the scene which starts 52 minutes 20 seconds in.
If you still can't be assed to watch it I'll attach a couple of screen shots of me in the program. Of course you could be a fan of this program so by all means watch the whole thing if it makes you happy. Interesting fact. I've now been an extra twice which isn't very good as I've been on the books nearly a year but both times Mark Lewis Jones has been in the scene with me. So I'm beginning to think there aren't many actors in Wales.

In case you think I'm jealous of the stars in my transsexual summer I'm not as I wouldn't have done it had I been asked and consider myself transgendered but not transsexual but I did really enjoy watching the series.

Last weekend I went to a pony event in Birmingham at Exodus which was OK but was run by the man with the worlds quietest voice. It was so funny when he was starting the races which were mostly run by some bloke who seemed to have walked in off the street judging by the way he was dressed and the lack of effort on his part. When we all arrived the quiet man called us all together to tell us what was going to happen. Well I say called but in reality it was more of a whisper. If you stood down wind you had a chance or hearing what he was saying but upwind you'd be OK if you were deaf and a lip reader. Somehow his quiet voice just couldn't convey any excitement about the event or races but it was funny and I like funny stuff. I'd love to make a sitcom about the bdsm scene I think I'll write to Ricky Gervais as loving Life's too short at the moment. So something along those lines would be good I reckon and very funny.

Back to the pony races and no I didn't run as there was no chance I would come anything other than last in my heels so what was the point. I know it's all about the taking part and not the winning but there was a cup for the winner which I'm sure he now has proudly displayed on his mantelpiece at home for all the family to appreciate when they come round. The winning ponyboy did look like this is the only thing he'd ever won in his life so I bet he's so proud of the cup and I'd love to be there when he proudly tells his family

"look what I won!"
"Oh what did you do to win that?"
"Pony racing"
"I didn't know you had a pony"
"No I was the pony"
"You were the pony?"
"Yes it was human pony racing"
"I'm worried about you"
And so on.

After the pony racing was Exodus BDSM night. Sounds wild right? Wrong it was so dull everyone just sat round eating. Well I say everyone but it was so empty I though we'd come on the wrong night at times and the place was actually closed.Again it was kind of funny and not how anyone would picture a bdsm night. More material for my sitcom I think.

Anyway I quite enjoyed it all in a strange way as did my friend and partner in crime for the evening Lord Q who shares my scene of humour about it all and I of course looked stunning as always unlike half the others there.

So last night was supposed to be my own bdsm party but I had to cancel it mainly because of a total lack of interest in a free party but also because my good friend John who I was going to borrow equipment and a van from to transport various stuff had a heart attack and is now in hospital waiting for a bypass operation. I hope he makes a full and fast recovery and I'm sure he will and I plan on going to annoy him in hospital next week but not sure if I should take something and with me as a present and if so what? A fried breakfast is something I always enjoy so maybe I'll sneak one in.

I'm kidding!

In the end last night I had a quiet night in alone with my cat which was fine and I just ate lots of unhealthy stuff until I was nearly sick. I really should change my diet or I'll be next to have a heart attack.